Our Second Christmas
This year is the second time when Andrej and I celebrate Christmas together. Although we’ve been together for almost four years, I spent previous years home in Slovakia while he was traveling for business trips during the holidays. Despite it was our first Christmas together last year, we couldn’t help but argue over small things.
It started with a potato salad. “So what do we need for the potato salad?” asked Andrej. I recited all the ingredients that I remembered my mom used to put in the salad. I’d never done the salad before – every year I assisted her, so I reckoned I knew how to do it.
But then Andrej prove me wrong. Because in his potato salad, there’s chicken broth. “Chicken what?” I must say I was a little disappointed, almost disgusted. No way, no chicken broth in my salad! And that’s how it started. We spend about 15 minutes looking into what are the right ingredients for the salad. The problem was – the internet has way too many options…
I’m Right, You’re Not
Soon we found that every single recipe for a “traditional” potato salad we found online was different. (Am I even surprised?) Why we both didn’t want to accept the fact that there’s a different potato salad out there was because we only knew the right one.
The problem with being right is that what you think is true is true – and whatever the other person says, is wrong.
I could probably say that being right (or “the truth”) is very narrow-minded because you don’t allow any other argument. It simply is that way and you’re not going to change your truth, on some occasions even if the truth doesn’t serve you.
What Being Right Costs You
We argued on holidays not just over food but also about the colours of our Christmas decorations and playlists (those are not my classic jazz standards, darling!). The problem is that being right costs you. A lot. You may feel superior and having the situation under control but is your better half happy with that?
The key is to drop it. Give up being right. In our case, we realised that neither of us had to be right about the salad. Finally, we dropped our argument and had a great time for the rest of the day.
Do you argue with your family over Christmas? What for? How do you come to a truce?